The thing now is in a critical stage, I am in in the Netherlands for the third time in two years and now it's time to start begging for the Dutch government to give me a permanent visa and residence permit valid for one year, which must be renewed annually for five years before I can have a European passport.
But if you came here to find out how to make the visa (Google?), I don't know too much, haven't yet started it. I'll start that when I return to Brazil-zil-zil in September.
The thing with this blog is more social, say. Many people ask me if Europeans are really as cold and naive as all Brazilians think ... and to tell ya the truth ... they are nothing of what Brazilians think. But they are not "warm and smart," so to speak. They are not stupid, far from it, but the "mischief" here is zero.
And the prejudice is 10. :)
There are people here who will talk to you on the street, in the queues, at the shop, at the supermarket. Even without knowing you. Yes, they are sociable. But to some extent, ja?
I don't know how hypocritical it is to say this, because in Brazil (at least in São Paulo), the thing is pretty much the same. Let's understand.
In Brazil everyone is good, friendly, right?...... no. What Ellen (my gringa girlfriend) realized is that in Brazil, family and friends are very close and "warm." So far we can say that we are different from europeans. But she also realized that if a Brazilian doesn't know another Brazilian, the person (both) automatically becomes a huge son of a bitch, until proven otherwise.
And there we are identical.
The girl who came knocking a little chat with me in a shop close to here was a fine example of the hospitality of the dudes around here.
I was looking at some equipment on the shelves and she was beside me, looking too. So then, she decides to make a random comment about something she found funny, say. But Dutch do not speak. They whisper. And fast.
I turned to her, all polite, "Could you speak more slowly, please?"
Hey! Did I put shit under her nose? Why, it seemed so! The weather went bad, lightnings stroke the Earth.
A FOREIGNER!
She did not say another word. Neither "sorry" nor "I do not speak English (portuguese / italian, / German / japanese ...)". Nothing ... she turned and walked away. With a face of hurt and fury.
Wow ... at such moments I can't wait to live here ...
And we also should talk about the intellectual superiority of Northern Europeans, ja?
Whether you are in Germany, Holland, Austria, Finland, Sweden ... you got it ... and ask for a local "Hi, do you speak English?".
What was an attempt to communicate became a insult!
"OF COURSE I speak English ... Jesus!"
Indeed ... BUT OF COURSE! How could he not speak English?
How many times have I offended the Dutch with this question. And it's really offensive, because they respond the same way ("OF COURSE!") In buses, shops, supermarkets, cafeterias, bathrooms, sewers ...
Want to be a good foreigner here? Act with lack of respect and speak English with everyone before knowing if they speak English. They prefer it, what to do?
Ah! But if you want to speak Dutch (my case) to improve your skills in the language of Beatrix, oh yes, you're fucked.
THEY DO NOT WANT TO SPEAK DUTCH.
Contrary to what many think, everybody here speaks Dutch the entire day.
Yes, in Europe, English is common. But think about it, if everyone spoke English at your home, yet you continue speaking in your native language with them, right? Yeah.
And that makes the Dutch language important to those who aspire to lay their lair here. Well. After several years studying the language and speaking with my in-laws through it, you want to try your skills on the bus, shops, supermarkets, snack bars, toilets and sewers, don't you?
Ha! Then try this in the Netherlands...
** Bruno enters a store.
- (In Dutch) Hallo, do you have the CD from Xuxa?
- Ja. What version do you want? Blue, green, red, or the one with Pelé?
They say that in less than 2 seconds. I take 0.2 seconds longer than a Dutch person would to process the information, but that's enough for the RED ALERT to light up in the brains of our friend behind the counter: "He is not from here!"
- (In Dutch) I want the blue one, but Pelé is also good.
- OK. Do you want something else?
Wait ... he switched to English? Because it's impossible to make a Dutch guy speak Dutch. But after a while you create tricks and learn to corner them.
- (In Dutch) Sorry, I do not understand. You can speak Dutch or Portuguese. I do not speak English.
- Oh ..
And the ultimate proof that they don't want to speak their own language is now. They really take a while, wondering if they speak Portuguese. They try, I swear they try to bring back something in Portuguese, but the most that comes out in the end is a "muchas gracias."
- (Returning to Dutch) Sorry but I do not speak Portuguese.
- Ok, let's keep it in Dutch, why not?
- Ja, okay.
Sorry for the inconvenience, ja? :)
But socialities aside, the people here are very nice.
Nice like in Brazil. If you are introduced by a Dutch person to another Dutch person, you are "tha" friend, brother, comrade. Grab a Heineken, sit on the couch and let's hope Ajax loses.
But if you don't have good recommendations from other people of the clan, ai ai! Run, the Imigration Office is coming!
Want to be a good foreigner here? Act with lack of respect and speak English with everyone before knowing if they speak English. They prefer it, what to do?
Ah! But if you want to speak Dutch (my case) to improve your skills in the language of Beatrix, oh yes, you're fucked.
THEY DO NOT WANT TO SPEAK DUTCH.
Contrary to what many think, everybody here speaks Dutch the entire day.
Yes, in Europe, English is common. But think about it, if everyone spoke English at your home, yet you continue speaking in your native language with them, right? Yeah.
And that makes the Dutch language important to those who aspire to lay their lair here. Well. After several years studying the language and speaking with my in-laws through it, you want to try your skills on the bus, shops, supermarkets, snack bars, toilets and sewers, don't you?
Ha! Then try this in the Netherlands...
** Bruno enters a store.
- (In Dutch) Hallo, do you have the CD from Xuxa?
- Ja. What version do you want? Blue, green, red, or the one with Pelé?
They say that in less than 2 seconds. I take 0.2 seconds longer than a Dutch person would to process the information, but that's enough for the RED ALERT to light up in the brains of our friend behind the counter: "He is not from here!"
- (In Dutch) I want the blue one, but Pelé is also good.
- OK. Do you want something else?
Wait ... he switched to English? Because it's impossible to make a Dutch guy speak Dutch. But after a while you create tricks and learn to corner them.
- (In Dutch) Sorry, I do not understand. You can speak Dutch or Portuguese. I do not speak English.
- Oh ..
And the ultimate proof that they don't want to speak their own language is now. They really take a while, wondering if they speak Portuguese. They try, I swear they try to bring back something in Portuguese, but the most that comes out in the end is a "muchas gracias."
- (Returning to Dutch) Sorry but I do not speak Portuguese.
- Ok, let's keep it in Dutch, why not?
- Ja, okay.
Sorry for the inconvenience, ja? :)
But socialities aside, the people here are very nice.
Nice like in Brazil. If you are introduced by a Dutch person to another Dutch person, you are "tha" friend, brother, comrade. Grab a Heineken, sit on the couch and let's hope Ajax loses.
But if you don't have good recommendations from other people of the clan, ai ai! Run, the Imigration Office is coming!
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