How Brazil works

The following text is not mine, but there is NOTHING better to help you understand what politics and company are like in Brazil.

The Brazilian version of the rescue of the 33 miners that were trapped in a mine 700 meters deep.

1)The Brazilian government creates a political party comission to rescue the miners, with 25 members of the Working Party and 2 of the opposition. Each member with the right to have 5 assistants and 2 secretaries. The begining of the work is delayed by 3 months beacause there was trouble to choose the president of the comission.

2)Since the expendures with the rescue weren’t foreseen in the budget, the government creates a new tax - the TCFM (Temporary Contribution to the Fucked-up Miners), which, although temporary, will last until 2020.

3)Chile offers equipment to help rescuing the miners, once they had to save their own miners just a while ago, but the equipment is held at the Brazilian Customs Office for more than 3 months. The responsible guy for the office allows the equipment to enter the country after the payment of a bribe.

4)After that, the equipment was again delayed another 2 months because the roads were blocked, since the Homeless Group invaded the highways to protest.

5)The Brazilian embassy in Chile took more than 2 months to give a Working Visa to the Chilian who would operate the equipment, since they couldn’t show a source of income in Brazil.
When everything was finally “legal”, the Brazilian Union of the Machine Operators uses the law to forbid the Chilians to work, since they were not part of the union.

6)Since the Brazilian law system is utterly fast, the Chilians managed to get a work permit after 6 months.

7)When they lower the rescue capsule to the mine to save the first stuck miner, the steel cable breaks, since it was a cheap quality cable, although it cost as much as gold.

8)The government creates an investigation comittee to find out whose fault it was. After 4 months of discussion, the case was discontinued by the Ethics Counsil of the High State.

9)FINALLY, after 2,5 years, the first rescue day is upon us.
SURPRISE!!! There was only ONE guy stuck inside the mine, since the other 32 were just “ghost employees”, made up to raise the costs of the rescue works.

10)At the speech made about the rescued miner, the President congratulates himself for the outstanding work, unlike anything ever done in the country.

11)The rescued miner asks for a newspaper, since he needs to inform himself of the situation of the country in those 2,5 years that he lost.

12)After reading the news, he decides he’d better have stayed in the mine after all.